Monday, December 9, 2013

Dastardly Delinquent - A Huitain

                                                                      Attribution: Wieke de Rijk
Image: Ferocity in the Eyes
Source: Wikimedia Commons (here)

The original huitain is a single verse, eight line poem with eight 
syllables per line. The rhyme scheme is a b a b b c b c. When 
it was adapted in English, the same rhyme scheme was retained 
but 10 or 8 syllables were used per line. There was no alternation 
between the syllable count. The huitain was all of 10 or all of 8 syllables

I’ve chosen to do the 10 syllable count. And I also tried to be a 
little naughty by employing alliterations with  letters d and b

a           dreaded dreary disorientated
b           definitely dastardly delinquent
a           dislodged dismantled and dissipated
b           dwindled to defenseless delirium
b           but balanced boldness brought benevolence
c           besieged bondage but bizarre bravado
b           began to beat and bash those beholden
c           brutal beastly barrage like a bronco

Note: The above revolved around a delinquent
Tom cat that was ill-treated but later fought back

Written for d'Verse OpenLinkNight week 126

24 comments:

  1. Very powerful words used and the impact ids powerful too. Compliments the picture of the Big Cat.

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  2. ha. nice....the allot makes it pretty slippery....i like how it creates a natural turn though between the b's and the d's....and goes from shadow to light....

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  3. Te b and d swap was great. The cat sure could make it ones fate

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  4. That cat looks like he could be ready for it all

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  5. Ha! Fun alliteration. Great play of words. :-)
    -HA

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  6. What an interesting form, Hank. You have really explored the eyes of that cat well, Hank! Ferocious indeed.

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  7. Nice alliterations Hank ~ What a challenge ~

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  8. Nice alliterations Hank ~ What a challenge ~

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  9. I read the poem out loud, & the alliteration ( which I employ a lot) really pumps up each line, and the rhyme scheme had excellent choices of uncommon rhyme words;
    nice job, Hank.

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  10. Nice Hank! This poem is a wonderful example of why I love alliteration. I also want to try a haibun now. I haven't tried to comment on any WordPress blogs yet. I'll let you know if I'm having trouble too.

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  11. Ouch! Funny how I never thought the "B" was softer than a "D" until reading them in this poem. Frightfully clever. Your cat is much more moody and delinquent than mine is.

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  12. Sorry English is my 3rd language, so here we go -

    Donc une déclaration dead beat
    Délivrant un démélé délicieux
    Et bien, c’est du bon boulot!
    Avec un badinage basculant!

    I think you speak French, no?

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    Replies
    1. Therefore a statement, dead beat
      Issuing it goes along delicious and well
      it is a good job!
      With a tilting banter!

      No, I don't Ma'am. But I get the idea with the help of google translate as given above.
      Merci!

      Hank

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  13. I'm not familiar with the form but, I enjoyed your poem..

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  14. Very impressive. I love the alliteration!

    I do wish Blogger and WordPress would play well together. :-(

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  15. The flip between the b words and d words adds to the feel of the poem. Nicely done.

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  16. Powerful huitain in alliterated sounds, well done.
    Some creatures become delinquents to fight back violence, poor cat!

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  17. What a good job you did with this. It's very clever. You're quite brave to write something so true to form. I've never had the courage to try something like this. Maybe I will sometime though.

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  18. haha... that is fun... and i have a knot in my tongue now you know...from trying to pronounce it....smiles

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  19. Clever stuff Hank. Glad puss fought back.
    Anna :o]

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  20. glad he was able to stand up for himself… poor kitty.

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  21. Wow, Hank That's quite an exercise in both form and alliteration. Good job.

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